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How to Spot a Twitter whore?

23 October 2009 11 Comments

Twitter Whore

Imagine a blonde girl sitting on that left corner of a starbuck outlet with her laptop and an evil smile. Yes she is your twitter whore.

I joined twitter over a year ago, when I was a sophomore. That was when the ‘Twitter’ hype actually started creeping in. I have posted around 5,600 tweets till now and counting and I must say I have come across various set of people. No, I am not doing a major in psychology, but I can still analyze and optimize people.

When twitter was developed, it was meant to be used as a link and information sharing tool and striking great conversations. But over the past months, I have stumbled across profiles which do not have a single tweet which makes sense. I wonder how the little twitter bird can take so much load .

You see, when I use a term called as ‘Whore’, they’re real Whores. The lady of the night types you see in the pubs - venues of which look more like a catchments area. You can just see straight through their kohl lined eyes. Yes, that blonde girl down the lane who does not need a reason to parties every night, she is your twitter whore. She sits on the left corner of a starbuck outlet with her laptop, and tweets about how hot the guy is sitting next to her, or even more random tweets about the coffee bubbles.

Over the upcoming weeks, I will be posting about different kinds of people, starting with a typical Twitter girlfriend.

17 signs to check if your girlfriend is showing twitter whore-ness

1.) She tweets continuously when you are speaking to her on the phone. And it sometimes feel as if she is not even listening to you.

2.) You call her and she is laughing for no reason, and when you ask her, she will say “I just read a funny tweet”

3.) She is asking everyone about the plan for weekends and when they are actually coming back to the city?

4.) If she tweets the first thing in the morning with a ‘Good Morning’, before even she pees.

5.) If the only thing she is interested is making plans for tweetups

and uploading pics on flickr,facebook and other photo sharing sites.

6.) If she likes seeking attentions from guys,.and this means posting twitpics of her new hairstyle, her shopping items and in turn making her feel good about herself.

7.) She is giving fashion tips to people, thinking she is the ‘Paris Hilton’, while the reality is that she is draped in a rugged tee which shouts “Please wash me !

8.) When her tweets start sound more inviting like “ I am alone.so scared..”, “I am pillow flighting with girls” “Going for a bath “

9.) When all it takes is a single tweet, to invite her for the party.

10.) When her tweets start sounding like this “You didn’t even miss me.”, “Check me out in this dress, hope your dreams come true :P.” “I am going for shopping guys !” “

11.) When there are more hashtags like #twugs instead of hugs, which even are responsible for gay trending topics.

12.) When there are 5 to 7 @replies in one tweet (No brownie points for guesses- all boys)

13.) She dreams every night with @ symbols of people and their twitter display face.

14.) If she says goodnight and still stays on her laptop for the next 30 minutes, waiting for more tweets to reply.

15.) When you are on a date, and the only thing she is interested to speak is about that weird guy she spoke last night, and how his twitter handle was so difficult to remember.

16.) You call her, and she says she is sick, and the next second when you keep the phone, you see ‘LOL’s’ and lot of happy tweets.

17.) When she actually spends more time in sharing her life with online strangers than sharing it with you. You know deep inside, that you know her only via her tweets. it’s time to tell her goodbye and find a normal girl-next-door who has her priorities and values the importance of time.

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11 Comments »

  • uberVU - social comments said:

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by sensonize: RT @imasoom: Just posted a new blog “How to Spot a Twitter whore? ” http://retwt.me/1lREO...

  • Top Style Blog :) » How to Spot a Twitter whore? said:

    [...] rest is here: How to Spot a Twitter whore? Saturday, October 24th, 2009 at 00:00 Tags: fashion, giving-fashion, hilton, paris-hilton, [...]

  • Aditi said:

    looks like your girlfriend is one of those twitter Whore!!

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  • Moccha said:

    LOL that was interesting… hahaha wow and i thought ppl did that on facebook… i swear there is a facebook whore…

  • Masoom Tulsiani (author) said:

    Yeah, Such things keep happening in the online space. And I can bet that there are more facebook addicts in the world. But twitter being more real-time, that makes it more obsessive. I know girls who tweet every minute. You should see the twitter whore video on youtube. Thanks for the comment :)

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    No, I am not doing a major in psychology, but I can still analyze and optimize people.

    When twitter was …….

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    Imagine a blonde girl sitting on that left corner of a starbuck outlet with her laptop and an evil smile. Yes she is your twitter whore…..

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